i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
