Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
