i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
