you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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