Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
