I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I looked at my own cervix.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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