I got chris browned last night
Who wears a wallet chain?!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
