Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
