His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My pussy is not your playground.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
