fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
