we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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