I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
