You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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