her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
its not stalking. its research.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
