the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
