Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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