after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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