I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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