oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
