Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
