Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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