it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
