I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
