He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need to sanitize my soul.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
