Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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