now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
