Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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