Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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