Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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