If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
