when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
