I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
