But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
