Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
