I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm like, not good at living.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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