You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
