i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
