Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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