I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
