If i come over, it means nothing
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
