O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
why is half of my head shaved?
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