hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
