Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
