hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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