Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
