btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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