No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm just crazy horny about you
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
