Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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