seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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