I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
