fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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