Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
