just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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