How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
